Father's day 2011, Inner child work

Jun 16, 2011
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why do we pick our parents?
by: Sheila Looman

I remember when I was about 30 I felt Like a mistaken Zigoat. Someone who was so excited to come to earth, that when the stork was delivering me I accidently fell out of the basket and landed in the wrong house.

No one ever understood me. Why was my life such a stuggle. Surely if they truely loved me they would understand me more........

Then a series of information came to me. The best question anyone ever asked me was Why did you pick your parents? WHAT? What the hell kind of question is that? I would never pick them as parents..... Even though they were good parents, Their home was nice and well kept, but did not freaking understand me. The more I explored that question the more I continued to grow.

I began to realize they raised us the way they were raised. Noone said, "I love you." You got the belt if you misbehaved. That meant love. "If you don't stop crying I am going to give you something to cry about." My dad used to foam at the mouth when he got mad, and boy you had better look out if you did not hurry when he said move, you would get kick in the ass. My dad was also a kind and loving father, he would swim with us, play with us, take us fishing and cook the fish for breakfast over the grill.

My dad was there for me when I found myself pregnent at 14 years old. He allowed me to make the choice of what I wanted to do.(that was the first year abortions were legal in NY state.)

When I decided to run away cause I did not want to follow the rules and I showed up 7 hours late. I had put him and mom through hell with worry. I thought he was going to punch my lights out, he did not but sure as hell thought he was going to. He was crying he was so mad and grateful.

When I was 35 I decided to tell my dad my feelings about one of his freinds who had sexually molested me as a child.

As an adult, One day I was having a release when I told dad what the man did and he looked in my eyes and said, "Sheila, you have really been fucking up in your life, get your shit together. That was that. end of conversation. So the next day he went golfing with the guy. What? how could he do that.

At first i thought it was mean and hateful. What it did was make me realize no matter what happens in the past, it is in the past and you can not change the past. My dad is my hero. He loved me soo much. Just because I did not feel it did not mean it was not so. My father raised me the best he knew. My dad gave me the strength to be the woman I am.

We are products of our ancestors. Our parents do the best they can. We choose our parents to learn lessons we need to learn so we can begin to make a better life for our children. We make the choices good or bad and we have to wade through deep waters to get through the emotions, releasing is part of the growth.

Love conquers all.

Father's day 2011, Inner child work

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Father's day 2011, Inner child work

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