The Death of a Friend

by Marti
(Gainesville, GA)

I am sad. I am in mourning. I experienced the loss, the death of a friendship last night. I have always felt true friends were unconditional, accepting, 24/7. I have come to the conclusion that no matter how hard you try, some just will not allow you to be that friend. Because they call you a friend, you will do anything for them, putting their problems, needs always ahead of your own. At some point, you must decide when this person is not a true friend. They only use you for their advantage. They never reciprocate. They will never change.

At what point do we decide to end this friendship, to put it to rest, to bury it?

We face choices every moment of every day. People around us (and ourselves) are like banks, in which we can make deposits and withdrawels. Deposits are positive and uplifting, while withdrawels are diminishing. Making emotional deposits in people can cement and stregthen your bond. Friendship is to emotionally invest in people and allow them to invest in you. Some types of deposits are like your 'to do' list.

Understand the individual
Attend to little things
Keep commitments
Clarify expectations
Show personal integrity
Say and use sincere compliments, (never be disingenuous)
AND... apologize sincerely when you make a "withdrawel"

Here are some types of "withdrawels", or the "what not to do" list.

Discourtesy
Disrepect
Overreacting
Betrayel of trust
Dishonor commitments

I have decided to no longer allow this person to make withdrawels from my emotional 'bank'.


R.I.P.