Inclusive and Exclusive

One minute we want an inclusive relationship and the next moment we want an exclusive relationship? I am having trouble determining which most accurately describes me.

Always did like a big family but somehow, I feel deprived. Did a lot of soul searching, well I guess that is one of the things which led me to writing. It seems what I value most, I cannot achieve. I am damn near sixty and still alone. Bar the feelings inside me, I must deal with the hand I got.

I am apart of a large family, it just seems they do not like me the way I like them. I see myself as doing those things I am supposed to and I seem them striving for the same things, but falling short. Are my feelings of falling short the reason as I think their reasons for falling short?

A checkup from the neck up? I wonder if they check themselves as often as me? How can anyone want to live with anger, deceit, betrayal as a constant in their lives?

I am a pretty hard worker but I see them doing what I know to be self-destructive. They seem a lot less happy than me, even though I am often unhappy and I can get myself in some "helluva" situations. I am responsible about them but they seem negligent.

Why don't they pay their bills, why don't they ask for help, why don't they realize the consequences of what they do before they do it?

Experience and different levels of experience but by age sixty one would think repeated failures would be a lesson learned. Why don't they try something new?

What if we all decided to try something new? You see the shit we are doing is working against us? How could you keep ignoring the weeds in our gardens? How do we keep all this going?

(((your inner voice.com)))