Think Different Not Difference

I think about things and my life and I question why I cannot have the things I desire, by living my way? Why would I be considered, anything but a child of God? What is the meaning of life? 

It is a very cold society in which we live! It is hard to put a finger on it but when you actually start to do anything "worthwhile" this is when your problems start. 

What is worthwhile, well it would nice to wealthy, especially when you know you already are, but no one else recognizes you like you think they do others, who are less wealthy?

Should you not do shit, should you do more to gain attention, should you toot  your own horn louder and louder?

For a long time, I wanted to be included. You know how competitive everything is, well, I wanted to be a winner too. I had a strong desire to communicate with who I thought were winners, and I learned from observing others, but no luck.

Why are winners so admired by others, but good at avoiding personal contact with people who would love to be like them? It is something like that, it hard to get to a real winner, at least for me.

For one while, I internalized this all, beating myself up, low self esteem, thinking I'm never good enough and remembering back to some of my authority figures who had the nerve to tell me this to my face, Well Art, I think you already know, you just aren't college material, you just aren't good enough to hang with the pros, the big boys here, yet every time I am put to the test, I, let's just say, "I ain't never been dead last. Most of the time, especially if it was something I liked, I was a top competitor. Think all of this started when I was in high school, about to graduate. Before that, I struggled from eighth grade to two years of college just to stay in school. This was through high school and junior college and I had the grades to prove it, even now I know this was an intentional plot, by would be good teachers and administrators, so of which are still being recognized for their generosity to those institutions.

Now, why did they choose me to hate on? I liked going to school, didn't miss a day, no matter how bad they treated me, I kept coming, but for what? What good is proving a point about which no one cares? So, you got a diploma, but we ain't gon allow you to march? Man, it is some self-righteous bullshit, these rich ass people put you through to maneuver  you wherever they want, why, I do not know. Why me, why do you want to put me some place I do not deserve to be, do not want to be and is degrading? How does this benefit any of us or the whole? Now, if I did this to you, I would be charged with a crime. And so is our society, everyone wants to put the other one somewhere they think it is not good to be, yet call themselves better by doing so. And even those who accept this kind of abuse think they deserve it.

I mean, if the idea is "helping others", then why in the hell are you hating on me, yet expect me to help others? You'd think by now, things would have changed, you'd think by now we would understand why we are plagued by evil, but most are too intimidated to even think the shit that is happening to them is due to all this evil shit we do to each other. Most realize any consequences, therefore even more evil shit is created to get pass the last, but I know, "I don't know what the hell I'm talking about but yet I'm supposed to believe all your bullshit". And this is why I say we are pressured into groups and all of these groups are pitted against each other. Why would anyone want to spend their lives creating and carrying out this simple-minded shit? why must I meet your standards and you not even understand mine, yet call this a "society"? Why must women fight for equal rights? Why do women denounce men? Why all the sexual drama, when we just learned to admit/confess to same-sex? Why all the negative talk about being gay or lesbian, when today we have been forced to learn we were wrong?

I have come to learn, this is done to continue whatever it is of which, they do not want me to be apart. Now, you talking a real reason to beat yourself up or anybody, why are they excluding someone so desiring, admiring, capable, loyal, committed to the American dream, even more so than many of them we honor? You know, there was a time in my life, when I would have put my life on the line to be apart, approved, hired, consulted, by some of these institutions of higher learning, who claim to make America great or I see others consider very prestigious.

People tell me they do not understand where I headed with this, but do you even know where you are headed, with what you doing, which I do not understand. Though I've managed to beat all the challenges you have put in my way, by now I am happy I do not think like you.

So, they will not have me, what does this mean and what do I do? Even though I look younger than the others my age, I'm led to believe they have the secret to youth, not me? What do you think when you see someone, on the same team, who are less qualified, less capable, not deserving; receiving the award, for which you earned and are most qualified, based on the selection criteria? Bout causes you to believe you ain't shit and you ain't going to make it just by doing good. IF women didn't raise hell, do you think we would have handed them over their rights, because we knew we were wrong? And when you treat your women so, what about our mothers, our sisters, our children and future generations? How can we expect them to respect us, when we make up the rules as we go, to meet our own selfish desires? I wonder why women went along with what appeared to be a role they enjoyed playing and for sooo long? I mean, why would  you willingly sleep with someone who considers you a second class citizen? Why would you willingly marry someone who considers you the same? Why would you act like you are so in love with someone who thinks a dog  has more rights than you?

I think you know by now, you are well better off, by first accepting your difference and treating yourself with dignity and respect because of them, otherwise, you are going to be more confused than the people you admire. This brings to question our ability or causes us to question our process of selection for those we admire. Have we learned from our mistakes? Why cannot we admit we have not learned a damn  thing and this is why we are steady going backwards, well, we never knew forward, so slowing down in reverse causes us to think we are making progress, going forward.

There is more than one way to be a success and it has nothing to do with money and profits, fame and fortune, as a matter of fact, these two cannot be included in the real formula or equation for success. They are not written on paper, but written on our hearts and for this you will be well rewarded with "good health", plenty of all you need, if you can get it before these greedy people spoils it so they can make a profit... requires no obligation to tell lies, spend your whole life helping someone extort everything and calling this financial gain. It all has been provided and no man can take it all way and if he tries, the forces who are responsible for our asses, will deal with them.

It is amazing at how hypocritical we are, telling all those lies about money, all we do is about MONEY and in total disregard for Natural progress and think of all the drama, chao and confusion we are causing with it or to get it? How we are so attracted to wealthy people, even without knowing how they went about it. Do you think they became wealthy from "hard work"? The wealthy people with whom I have come into contact, the only thing they are good at is, "getting you to do what they do not want, yet know it needs doing". Now, is this hard or smart? How long must you be schooled to learn this "simple fact in our "so called" society". You have to be smart enough to get others to do what it is you don't want to do, yet know it must be done for you to get where you want to go, even though it calls for knocking down a fellow human being. And for this simple selfish thought, many have perished just for trying to maintain the facade and to keep hope alive, we make them saints.

If we had the power to make on man more than another man, why would we do this, yet call it being equal? Why make a hero out of someone who killed more fellow human beings than anyone else, and call it a great sacrifice?

Do you see the buildings we are building, without regard to the impact on our environment and sustainable use of resources? We are so determined to build an outlandish building, we don't give a damn. How great we claim them to be, even they are as far away from being in harmony with Mother Nature, as a matter of fact, they are the best examples of how one can attempt to exploit wealth by defying/exploiting Nature and then, they have the power to make you apply to build, maintain and pay for it all; and you have the nerve to call this "an honest means of making a living". Why build anything to pay for it? did you get it??? Why build any fucking thing to keep paying for it? Life is too short to be playing stupid games. I going to build this building, to put people to work, so they can pay for it and I make a profit?

Then, we build shit, like we are going to be here forever, no consideration for tomorrow is not promised or what did the people, how did they make it before? Now, everything they did was harder than what we have made it? Even though they survive shit we cannot even imagine, we see ourselves better, knowing all the time we are actually worse.  We cannot even take a piss without thinking we are in violation of somebody's law. Our most popular drink has "zero nutritional value" and we love it,,, even more than the precious water. As a matter of fact, we have so contaminated our most crucial water supplies, it appears to be safer to drink a non-nutritional beverage.

We claim to be safer and more secure than ever, yet we are fighting each for the right to bear arms, do you understand this? We want to kick out immigrants who were here well before us, they even welcomed us and now we have used them up, along with everything else, we feel they are a threat to our livelihood. Do you realize who the real threat is? We are too clever about blaming others for our own transgressions.

We are so clean with our hair nets, rubber gloves, mask and hand-sanitizer but do we try to understand how did we get to this and how did others get along without all this bullshit and what good is this against pesticides and chemicals? Okay, whose blaming who? Why don't we just keep shit clean? Why would anyone want to carry germs or to pass them on, without thought of consequences? And even though we have implemented all this shit we could have avoided, people are dying just the same and our quality of life has diminished significantly. Today, we have more unhealthy people, pesticides and chemicals, than ever before and an addiction which has grown out of control, so what good are rubber gloves, hair net and mask? If you thought like us, you would be just as destructive, but we call it constructive. Sitting in a meeting all day deciding who's going to be our next victim, how will we target them and to whom will we share the spoils?

I mean, if we have come to believe we need to make laws, aren't we implying the laws of Nature, which deals with all human beings, are not quite good enough, not all encompassing and we know better? The laws of nature have existed well before human beings, so we made new laws to accommodate all the unnecessary bullshit we think we need, but will only be here for a short time, by any measurement of time. It is like someone who comes to your house for a short visit but makes rules like their are going to have to abide by them and they made the rules because you were in violation, in the first place. Written rules causes you to feel better about being in violation, otherwise; you would not need to write them.

Now, we make laws and our laws, which we do not follow, have caused us to lose sight of the laws of nature, which has existed well before us, are not written and "must be followed". We relish in the fact, we are doing something none has ever done and nothing could be furthest from the truth. So, you get a lavish building built for a good purpose, but for the wrong reason. And we are at a point where you cannot tell otherwise without, being an insult to our society. 

Why are we so skeptical of or about folk who do not want to conform, not leave the country

(((your inner

YOUR inner voice

Right here, Right now.


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