Brutal Beating with Words...Just as Harmful as Physical Beating

by DEE



Verbal abuse takes many forms: from loud rants to quiet comments; from obvious put-downs to not-so-obvious remarks that undermine the other person. What all the methods have in common is the need to control, to be superior, to avoid taking personal responsibility, and to mask or deny failures. In other words, it takes the spotlight off the real problem...the abuser.

How to Recognize If You Are Being Verbally Abused.

1. You feel you just can’t win. No matter how carefully or kindly you try to work out a problem, your partner says things that make you feel like you’re in the wrong.

2. Your self-esteem and self-confidence are shot. Your partner isn’t your greatest fan but your greatest critic. He/she often tells you that his/her comments are “for your own good.” As if they became some mind reading ghuru overnight!!

3. When you say he/she has hurt your feelings, your partner tells you that you are too sensitive. When you point out that he/shee has said something inappropriate or hurtful, he/she accuses you of trying to make him/her look bad. You notice that he/she rarely takes responsibility for their part of a problem. Somehow they manage to convince themselves and even you that anything that goes wrong is your fault.

4. You often are the brunt of jokes that make you feel bad. The guy who is fun and fun-loving outside the family unleashes a more vicious or undermining humor inside. Other people don’t believe you that the guy they know is so different from what you experience. You find yourself constantly questioning yourself.

5. You have to walk on eggshells at home. Your home isn’t a sanctuary for you and/or your kids. It is the place where you are most afraid and embarrassed. You and the kids stay away as much as you can. When you are there with your partner, you all do everything you can to make sure nothing happens that could set him off.

6. If you’re not very careful, the verbal abuse escalates to physical altercations. Even if you are very careful, what starts with words can end up with physical aggression toward you or destroying things, especially things you value.

As children we playfully recited the rhyme “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me”. This is definitely not true! Words do hurt and can destroy the human spirit. They can break a person on the inside just as surely as a whack with a stick bruises the outside. People who are subjected to verbal abuse suffer. People who are subjected to it over time can get so used to it that they lose their sense of themselves as people worth loving.

If you are an abuser, take heed and stop it now!! If you are being abused, recognize what is happening to you and get help immediately!!

LOVE and Peace

Comments for Brutal Beating with Words...Just as Harmful as Physical Beating

Average Rating starstarstarstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 02, 2015
What is learning to stay ahead?
by: Art

I'm the victim and the perpetrator.

In a world which strives on violence and abuse, I’ve written about this many times and the question remains, where is the line, how do you settle disputes?

For one, it’s okay, today yes, tomorrow no, how much money, there are numerous factors, so many variables involved to determine the outcome, but this doesn’t make it right.

Should you spank your child or should you curse them out? Is time-out just as abusive? What happens when negotiations or talking doesn't work?

Is our military training wrong, what about corporate greed, government smack-downs, family violence, double-standards, sports, scammers, police brutality, politics, hypocritical religion, corporal punishment, capital punishment…? Just what kind of people do we honor?

In a society where the push for control is constant, everybody’s standing up for the wrong thing and nice guys never win, what should a victim do? If you took your fight to your local violence and abuse counselor would you get any help? Why isn't our system of justice working, just how do you stand-up, save your family, relationship, job…?

I’m suggesting, "if you aren't just as competitive or more so than the next guy, you’re going to get run-over. There will always be friction and friction is needed to balance the scales. The problem starts when things spiral out of control.

Who’s the Boss, who’s the referee, who’s that person to whom you listen? A body without a head, any training has to be approved by the boss. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and for every action there's a reaction, stay ahead of the game.

The game is an obsession to create something nobody else can do and that depends on how much difficulty you are willing to endure while pushing yourself without giving up.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to (((YIV))) Real Discussion Real People.

YOUR inner voice

Right here, Right now.


What do like minded-people have in common?

More Articles...

Being a Prince 
Not sure how your response relates to "why do you continue engaging, knowing all the long term pain and suffering this is causing"? Seems to me, this …

how I got my husband back 
I want to testify of the good work of prophet Bond, who helped me in bringing back my ex,  i never thought i was going to have him again. My name is …

Justified because DOMINATION 
It took an incident like this to push to the forefront the inhumane treatment of black America...demand attention, stop the killing, stop the racism, stop …

Losing a best friend 
Wow! First of all my condolences for your lost! Death is uncontrollable. Some are chosen first and some are chosen at a later or different time! We all …

my testimony on how i got my husband back and kids  
Hello everyone i want to share a live testimony on how Dr Osimen was able to bring my husband back to me, myself and my husband were on a serious breakup, …

White girls ignoring white guys and throwing themselves at Mexican American guys 
I'm a white guy in fresno can and all I see is white girls running to Mexican American guys. They refuse to even consider a date with me a good looking …

White women are destroying white men Not rated yet
Women can make or break a man, for behind every successful man is a strong woman. White women today are weak and out to break the white man in the name …

I am a Channel Not rated yet
Hi, I am a chenneller. I became aware of it in 2011 after a huge loss. I am mixed but spirit sent me a black channel to teach me what I am. She is …

Life Not rated yet
Wat is life if all we do is make money for pointless gain look at us were losing everything but we don't care along as we have more than the person next …

Women's Corner Not rated yet
As we prepare for the Christmas (Holiday) Season.. We are out shopping for gifts and preparing special dinner, cooking those delicious cakes. Let us …

looking for whitewemen that hate whitemen Not rated yet
I love whitewemen that hate their own race I'm a blackman.

Greetings and Welcome to my page. "A MELANIN FREQUENCY-THE MYSTIC CHANNELER SEKHMET" I am blessed with the gift of Clairaudient and Clairvoyance. …

Sometime late last year in 2015, a subject was brought to the attention of the American public, that it had been decided that they were going to try to …

Beautiful tribute  Not rated yet
Dee, you said it so poignantly with such deep feeling. I hope that when my time comes, someone will be so caring of me. May she rest in peace and may …

How prepared are you?re you prepared Not rated yet
The people that are involved in a relationship will some day plan and prepare for their special day with much time,effort, decision making and a whole …

who is making the white women for u Not rated yet
haters here. clearly.

is that a knock-out? Not rated yet
I thought that rose would be dead by now, great job

Thank you for sharing Not rated yet
Our history is so violent and distorted and all we want to know is both sides of the story. Recognize, confess, know...thanks for sharing

you go girl... Not rated yet
beautiful, somebody is expecting a bountiful harvest, like that huge lobster! Enjoy

Love Leggings Not rated yet
People talk about the shit you do ruining their kids, but you never hear about the things they do ruining yours. Who's ruining who? A heart for leggings, …

When you think you escaped Not rated yet
Can't sleep, stress, can't be satisfied and more stress. A chain, lock, wrench, telephone how can they help you? One day you come to realize for …

Cosby's infidelity Not rated yet
Cosby has long been dogged by accusations of infidelity. As Cosby joined the ranks of other famous infidels like Bill Clinton, Jesse Jackson, Willie …

Cosby's response Not rated yet
Bill Cosby will not dignify "decade-old, discredited" claims of sexual abuse with a response, his attorney said Sunday, the first comment from the famed …

Something Better for Something Worse Not rated yet
Is Mr. Cosby a good example of this?

Click here to write your own.

NOTHING like TRN was announced - PURE LIE Not rated yet
It is very strange people spreading BS instead of facts. They were screaming all over the internet that March 17 will be announcement of TRN and prices …

Click here to write your own.