Brutal Beating with Words...Just as Harmful as Physical Beating

by DEE

STOP IT!!

STOP IT!!

Verbal abuse takes many forms: from loud rants to quiet comments; from obvious put-downs to not-so-obvious remarks that undermine the other person. What all the methods have in common is the need to control, to be superior, to avoid taking personal responsibility, and to mask or deny failures. In other words, it takes the spotlight off the real problem...the abuser.

How to Recognize If You Are Being Verbally Abused.

1. You feel you just can’t win. No matter how carefully or kindly you try to work out a problem, your partner says things that make you feel like you’re in the wrong.

2. Your self-esteem and self-confidence are shot. Your partner isn’t your greatest fan but your greatest critic. He/she often tells you that his/her comments are “for your own good.” As if they became some mind reading ghuru overnight!!

3. When you say he/she has hurt your feelings, your partner tells you that you are too sensitive. When you point out that he/shee has said something inappropriate or hurtful, he/she accuses you of trying to make him/her look bad. You notice that he/she rarely takes responsibility for their part of a problem. Somehow they manage to convince themselves and even you that anything that goes wrong is your fault.

4. You often are the brunt of jokes that make you feel bad. The guy who is fun and fun-loving outside the family unleashes a more vicious or undermining humor inside. Other people don’t believe you that the guy they know is so different from what you experience. You find yourself constantly questioning yourself.

5. You have to walk on eggshells at home. Your home isn’t a sanctuary for you and/or your kids. It is the place where you are most afraid and embarrassed. You and the kids stay away as much as you can. When you are there with your partner, you all do everything you can to make sure nothing happens that could set him off.

6. If you’re not very careful, the verbal abuse escalates to physical altercations. Even if you are very careful, what starts with words can end up with physical aggression toward you or destroying things, especially things you value.


As children we playfully recited the rhyme “sticks and stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me”. This is definitely not true! Words do hurt and can destroy the human spirit. They can break a person on the inside just as surely as a whack with a stick bruises the outside. People who are subjected to verbal abuse suffer. People who are subjected to it over time can get so used to it that they lose their sense of themselves as people worth loving.

If you are an abuser, take heed and stop it now!! If you are being abused, recognize what is happening to you and get help immediately!!

LOVE and Peace

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Feb 02, 2015
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What is learning to stay ahead?
by: Art

I'm the victim and the perpetrator.

In a world which strives on violence and abuse, I’ve written about this many times and the question remains, where is the line, how do you settle disputes?

For one, it’s okay, today yes, tomorrow no, how much money, there are numerous factors, so many variables involved to determine the outcome, but this doesn’t make it right.

Should you spank your child or should you curse them out? Is time-out just as abusive? What happens when negotiations or talking doesn't work?

Is our military training wrong, what about corporate greed, government smack-downs, family violence, double-standards, sports, scammers, police brutality, politics, hypocritical religion, corporal punishment, capital punishment…? Just what kind of people do we honor?

In a society where the push for control is constant, everybody’s standing up for the wrong thing and nice guys never win, what should a victim do? If you took your fight to your local violence and abuse counselor would you get any help? Why isn't our system of justice working, just how do you stand-up, save your family, relationship, job…?

I’m suggesting, "if you aren't just as competitive or more so than the next guy, you’re going to get run-over. There will always be friction and friction is needed to balance the scales. The problem starts when things spiral out of control.

Who’s the Boss, who’s the referee, who’s that person to whom you listen? A body without a head, any training has to be approved by the boss. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure and for every action there's a reaction, stay ahead of the game.

The game is an obsession to create something nobody else can do and that depends on how much difficulty you are willing to endure while pushing yourself without giving up.

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