Don’t Marry, Be Happy

by Margrett Dawson Wallace
(Pelham, Georgia USA)


Don’t Marry, Be Happy

Don’t Marry, Be Happy is a continuation of an article that I wrote earlier…Most men Date to Marry however I have learned…could/should it be in reverse order?…could/ should it be" The Man should Marry to Date her"...

I know that it seems like odd advice for a widow to give. But what I really mean by it is pretty simple. If you think marriage will make you happy, you are sorely mistaken. Don’t marry someone with the idea that it’s going to make you happy. When either one or both spouses head into a marriage with this thinking, it creates some of the most miserable couples out there…cheaters, whores, pimps, prostitutes, politicians, preachers, and others too numerous to identify, okay?

Can you be happy in marriage?... Absolutely. But the people who are successful and happy in their marriages are not happy because they are married. It isn’t the marriage or the person they are married to that makes them happy. They are happy and fulfilled in life apart from their marriage.

The reality is if you are looking for a man or a woman to make you happy, if you are looking to marriage for happiness, you are barking up the wrong tree. The answer to your happiness isn’t marriage. The answer isn’t another person. Some of the loneliest and most unhappy people on the planet are those with wedding rings on. Sad, but true. Beyonce sings “If You Like It…Put A Ring On It…isn’t the norm.

All of the romance novels, chick flicks and TV shows sell the LIE that the real answer to finding contentment is to find a man or woman to make you happy, but nothing could be farther from the truth.
A successful marriage is not the result of two empty souls finding each other in an attempt to “complete” each other. Two empty, unfulfilled souls who get married will just be a marriage of two empty, unfulfilled souls. A successful marriage is possible only when two complete and happy people get together for the purpose of building a life together. They do not need the other to be truly happy, complete or emotionally whole. They are already whole people who are joining together to enjoy the benefits of marriage. Yes, I am one of those Bible quoters and I quote …the Bible says that “two are better than one.” But that is only true if they are two healthy, emotionally stable, and complete human beings. If you are a single, miserable, lonely, incomplete, and hollow soul, for the love of God, do everyone a favor and get yourself whole before you get yourself married.

Countless marriages end in divorce for no other reason than people think that they aren’t happy. They move on and find another man or woman that they are just sure will be the one to bring them happiness…only to find out that after a while this new one isn’t doing the trick either. Some go from relationship to relationship or even from marriage to marriage and never learn that true happiness doesn’t come from another person.

For those of you who are divorced or divorcing, this really needs to sink in and you need to hear it. The fact of the matter is, in most cases, if husbands and wives could grasp the fact that the other person isn’t there to “make them happy”, if they weren’t so puking-ass selfish and self-centered, and if they would stop expecting their spouse to make them deliriously happy all the time, they wouldn’t be divorcing in the first place! Needless to say, most don’t get it and instead, they travel down the divorce path certain that by dumping their spouse, they will find happiness.

Most people in this category (especially us women) think they can end the pain from the previous relationship and the misery from the divorce by finding another person who will make them happy. The carnage and scattered debris from the last train wrecknot the light hasn’t even been cleaned up and they are running into the next disaster. I often hear of men and women who are still in the process of divorcing, or at best, the ink is barely dry on the paper and they are entangled in a new romance…and dragging their kids along through all of it or leave on the pretense of “going on a vacation” never to return.

You need to slow down people. A new boyfriend or girlfriend, a new lover, a new spouse isn’t the solution. In fact, it will complicate things even more and you will be so caught up in your feelings—and probably sexually involved—that you won’t see straight. Read my blog…”True Love…My Love” Take the time to heal, to get whole, and if there are kids involved you need to be there for them and focused on them…not out dating!

The Bible is very clear that God is to be the source of our happiness. It’s idolatry if you are making another person the “god” of your contentment. Whether you are currently married or single, the answer is the same: Don’t look to a man or to a woman for your happiness. Learn to be filled with joy and complete in your faith or whatever is your “Higher Source”, because if you can’t be happy without someone, you will never be happy with someone either.

Please share on “Your-Inner-Voice.Com, I just did. “Never to live this life again"…

Love is not taught

Click here to post comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to (((YIV))) Real Discussion Real People.

YOUR inner voice

Right here, Right now.

BLOGGING for A Better WORLD!

What do like minded-people have in common?

More Articles...

bullies deal with them 
Hey was a middle schooler and i get called a white bitch so so if anyone is like me tell someone thats something i never did.!

Being a Prince 
Not sure how your response relates to "why do you continue engaging, knowing all the long term pain and suffering this is causing"? Seems to me, this …

how I got my husband back 
I want to testify of the good work of prophet Bond, who helped me in bringing back my ex,  i never thought i was going to have him again. My name is …

Justified because DOMINATION 
It took an incident like this to push to the forefront the inhumane treatment of black America...demand attention, stop the killing, stop the racism, stop …

Losing a best friend 
Wow! First of all my condolences for your lost! Death is uncontrollable. Some are chosen first and some are chosen at a later or different time! We all …

my testimony on how i got my husband back and kids  
Hello everyone i want to share a live testimony on how Dr Osimen was able to bring my husband back to me, myself and my husband were on a serious breakup, …

White girls ignoring white guys and throwing themselves at Mexican American guys 
I'm a white guy in fresno can and all I see is white girls running to Mexican American guys. They refuse to even consider a date with me a good looking …

White women are destroying white men Not rated yet
Women can make or break a man, for behind every successful man is a strong woman. White women today are weak and out to break the white man in the name …

I am a Channel Not rated yet
Hi, I am a chenneller. I became aware of it in 2011 after a huge loss. I am mixed but spirit sent me a black channel to teach me what I am. She is …

Life Not rated yet
Wat is life if all we do is make money for pointless gain look at us were losing everything but we don't care along as we have more than the person next …

Women's Corner Not rated yet
As we prepare for the Christmas (Holiday) Season.. We are out shopping for gifts and preparing special dinner, cooking those delicious cakes. Let us …

looking for whitewemen that hate whitemen Not rated yet
I love whitewemen that hate their own race I'm a blackman.

A MELANIN FREQUENCY-THE MYSTIC CHANNELER SEKHMET Not rated yet
Greetings and Welcome to my page. "A MELANIN FREQUENCY-THE MYSTIC CHANNELER SEKHMET" I am blessed with the gift of Clairaudient and Clairvoyance. …

"PSYCHOLOGICAL INFLUENCES AND SPIRITUAL WARFARE" By A.A. AMEN-RA Not rated yet
Sometime late last year in 2015, a subject was brought to the attention of the American public, that it had been decided that they were going to try to …

Beautiful tribute  Not rated yet
Dee, you said it so poignantly with such deep feeling. I hope that when my time comes, someone will be so caring of me. May she rest in peace and may …

How prepared are you?re you prepared Not rated yet
The people that are involved in a relationship will some day plan and prepare for their special day with much time,effort, decision making and a whole …

who is making the white women for u Not rated yet
haters here. clearly.

is that a knock-out? Not rated yet
I thought that rose would be dead by now, great job

Thank you for sharing Not rated yet
Our history is so violent and distorted and all we want to know is both sides of the story. Recognize, confess, know...thanks for sharing

you go girl... Not rated yet
beautiful, somebody is expecting a bountiful harvest, like that huge lobster! Enjoy

Love Leggings Not rated yet
People talk about the shit you do ruining their kids, but you never hear about the things they do ruining yours. Who's ruining who? A heart for leggings, …

When you think you escaped Not rated yet
Can't sleep, stress, can't be satisfied and more stress. A chain, lock, wrench, telephone how can they help you? One day you come to realize for …

Cosby's infidelity Not rated yet
Cosby has long been dogged by accusations of infidelity. As Cosby joined the ranks of other famous infidels like Bill Clinton, Jesse Jackson, Willie …

Cosby's response Not rated yet
Bill Cosby will not dignify "decade-old, discredited" claims of sexual abuse with a response, his attorney said Sunday, the first comment from the famed …

Click here to write your own.

Something Better for Something Worse Not rated yet
Is Mr. Cosby a good example of this?

NOTHING like TRN was announced - PURE LIE Not rated yet
It is very strange people spreading BS instead of facts. They were screaming all over the internet that March 17 will be announcement of TRN and prices …

Click here to write your own.

Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how...

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.