It Ain't Bad Enough Yet?

Every few weeks or so, I experience a stressful patch where I feel overwhelmed and frustrated. It?is during these times that I try to come up with constructive ways to deal with the issues that do end up making me feel somewhat better and improve things.

It occurred to me when I was pondering how to get out of my comfort zone and make some big changes with my life, that when we 'Stay and Complain', we're about a hop, skip, and jump from being complacent.

While we can wait around to feel the pain and be forced into doing something very different and making the change, why should we? Why wait around to experience worse than what we already have? When will we declare "enough is enough" and actually do something?

We convince ourselves that 'It ain't bad enough yet' or we would be outta here!

This is of course complete bullshit!

More often than not, things are 'that bad' but we plan to deal with it 'someday' or we are hoping it will deal with itself. We are really just bullshittin' ourselves. We are creatures of habit and we are full of habits! While there is the possibility of things getting worse we shouldn't allow ourselves to get complacent and decide that because you?re doing OK now that it?s not that bad. Either it?s not as bad as you say it is which means you?re exaggerating and saying stuff for ?effect?, or things are not working for you. You?re existing, you?re managing, you?re getting by, but you don?t like how you?re doing it.

Our lives are full of habits and we are creatures of habit, even if they are bad ones that work against us.

We all have habits that we engage in that cause us frustration and yet we don?t do anything about them. Many of us get lost in the details, looking for understanding of why every last little thing is happening and rationalising the situation by finding even the smallest of anomalies to justify why our situation is different, why we may be the exception to the rule etc.

You don?t have to wait around to be really uncomfortable or be in immense pain. It?s your job to listen to yourself and heed the signs of your discomfort. Don?t fall into the trap of complaining but not really doing anything about it because the reality is, if you ignore the signs, you?ll keep revisiting the issue until you finally learn the lesson that the situation is throwing you.

Old habits die hard and it takes more than a concerted effort to bring about lasting change. If there is a will, there is a way and when people get fed up enough with themselves and their situations, they'll break those old habits.

It ain't bad enough yet? It is for me!

B&SD

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Nov 29, 2010
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It Ain't Bad Enough Yet? part III
by: Art

Although you've made many very interesting points, it is the daily execution of them that make all the difference? How do you get to them before they get to you? What is the approval rating?

Are you behind or ahead? The clock is ticking? You want to be a good employee, I want to be a farmer, Jack wants to be a Seamstress, Chuck wants to be a Carpenter? Art wants to be a star? And we all want and feel we deserve it all and now?

As grandmas and pas we know the answer, but where is the common ground? Relationships, are you telling them how to live or are we figuring it out together? This is your team? Where is the woman/female fixer upper? Are most in hiding? Are good things really happening or are we fooling yourselves? What's the test?

I've been a good friend to failure so I know that game. I know what it feels like when things are not going well? I've been the best family man and member, but what does that matter to my families?

Now, is my time to be the greatest success I can and in doing so, I am going to be as open and honest as I possible. That is the extent of my relationships.

Conflict resoultion comes to mind? Resistance, resentment, conflict, at which level will you stop? Why even go there? Learn to kill it before it ever gets started.

Values, common values? Work ethics, it has to be in there somehow or what do you have to work towards? Where is the working together?


Nov 29, 2010
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It Ain't Bad Enough Yet, part two?
by: Art

Well how bad does it have to get?

Very interesting and I think you are absolutely right and it is certainly something to think about. I thought I would just throw this in.

Wind beneath my wings. You are who you are but people love you because of who you are to them. Do you need to be perfect to be loved? What happens when you marry or fall in love with the perfect person? There is always room for improvement.

I am a relationship man. I do not like doing things by myself. I am not sure how fun this would be if I weren't in a good sound relationship. I am not the most brilliant person in the world, but I appreciate understanding, first for self. You must be comfortable in your own skin, and I thought I was good at faking it. Today, I remember the ugly stage?

When people think you do not have anything, many of them do not want to be bothered with you. When you look like you are failing, people will put you down. Friends become enemies waiting in the bushes to throw rocks at you. Either that stuff is going to make or break you.

So if I am going to fix relationships, first I must fix my own and that is my problem. How do you do anything, when you feel like a one legged man in an ass kicking contest? You had better be quick!

Today, I was listening to a mighty fine young lady talk about "fixing relationships". She gave excellent ideas and had success stories to back them. However, when her own relationship broke, then what? Somebody has to come to your rescue.

Thank you but I'll stick with the "plan and do" scenario. I am a man and along with feeling it, I like to "see progress".

What happens to the feeling of making love all day long? If I go to bed with you tonight, in the morning I am ready for something different, but just as enjoyable. Or would you rather awake, asking what do I do? Life is too short, better to chart new territory almost everyday.

Further, I would quickly tire facing the same old routine everyday. I don't even want green bananas.

If you do not have money that is even one less concern and even more reason to be more creative. Think on others!

Shouldn't you want to do things together? Make a plan, Make time, if you really want people involved. If not, make private plans, but for god's sake, make a plan.

Anyway, as much as I was entertained by what that nice educated young lady was saying, I can always say, "Life and relationships are like a football game, either you are on the same team or not. How are your fellow players? What are you doing to motivate them? What is your role here? Now, for the other half of this equation, How will you play against the other team? What will you do when the ball is hiked? Do I even have one success story or am I all screwed up?


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