Love after 50

by Marti
(Gainesville, GA)

So many feel as we reach the 50, or even 60, mark in your life, you should just accept what you have. If you are a widow or divorced, you think you are destined to be alone forever. To never be able to experience the warmth of another's arms, the gentle kiss, the whispers, the special smile, the love making again.

It takes work to enjoy all of this when you are older. Maybe you think it is too much work, a distraction and why bother.

Slooow down. Yes, it takes time to warm things up but that is one of the many wonderful things about being more mature. We can enjoy the journey, called foreplay. This journey may be minutes, hours, days. We do not feel a sense of urgency, as the younger ones do. We have learned to enjoy, savor. Like that fine wine we hold in our mouths, to keep tasting, not wanting to swallow, but when we do, we crave another drink to experince it all over again.

The key is communication. We must discuss our likes, dislikes, our heart's desire. Tell your partner what you're feeling or not feeling. Your partner wants to understand and please you. they are not a mind reader. Yes, the same thing, the same way does get boring. Use your imagination. To just turn your back on them is not the solution. Is this relationship worth working for? To change things is as much your responsibility as your partners. Your partner has experienced many things in their lifetime, but may be fearful you may be too judgemental. Sharing your experiences is the most wonderful thing. Communication!

Kiss and kiss. Kiss sweetly, passionately, quickly, slowly, contentedly, hungrily, lightly, sloppy. All kind of kisses help to bond with your partner, warm up and enjoy the moment. Kiss all during the day, just because.

PDA - Public Display of Affection. You say you are ready but fearful to allow the outside to see? When your partner reaches for your arm, your hand, meet them half way.

Appreciate, decorate, celebrate. Whatever looks good feels good. Candlelight, music, dance together, leave loving notes for each other, give little gifts to each other. Flirt like you did in the beginning, before you had the pleasure of tasting the nectar for the first time.

Laugh a lot. Play silly games, invent special words, tease (not mock) each other, rediscover your childhood together. Laughter is bonding, joyful, ageless -- and sexy.

Enjoy quality snuggle time -- before, during, and after. Holding each other, feeling the warmth and texture of each other's skin, is one of the sweetest, sexiest parts of making love.

Never be hurtful in your words, even when you are thinking it. Some things are very hurtful when said out loud. Why would you want to hurt the one you love, who loves you? You say "That's just me." That is not reason enough to hurt someone. When you feel them pull away, you wonder why? You know why.

I am a woman. I can only speak as a woman. Women are like flowers. We flourish with just the right amount of attention. Too little, we dry up and die. Too much we smother and die. Either way, we die. Treat us like those flowers, vegetables you so lovingly plant, watch over, looking for signs of distress, enjoying as we blossom, because of your love, attention. Otherwise, we just die, gone.

sometimes there are articles here that are so profound, they scare me,,,meaning I should just take them all in.

I just thank God there are people who know so much more about love than I. You know you can talk all day long about loving God, but what good is that when you can not love your neighbor? What good is that when you can not love each other...anybody? What good is that when you came up in an abusive relationship, now you are afraid to share?

I challenge every person to find such love in their lives and share it.

It is even greater when you can find someone who can think so deeply. And even greater if you can find someone who makes you feel that way.

Now, here is the part where I should shut-up. It's easier to find people with whom to get this kind of relationship started, but the question is how long can you and who ever maintain it? With whom can you share it, without falling apart, especially after 50? How? Your family, my family, your friends...? Because the you and me thing can only last so long? Like you said, It's all about growing in love together. So, whatever is produced there has to be shared...Art (smile)

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