Love After Death: The Widows’ Romantic Predicaments

by Margrett Dawson Wallace
(Pelham, GA USA)

Love After Death: The Widows’ Romantic Predicaments

Why am I writing help myself and other widows in the same predicaments as I.

All of us have romantic predicaments; widows (and widowers) seem to have even more. Should they actively search for another lover? And if they find another lover, while still loving their late spouse, how can these two lovers reside together in their hearts?

For widows, I ask the question…is loving again worth the effort? And is widowhood the proper time to fall in love again?

The end of love and death:

For many people, romantic love forms an essential aspect of their lives; without love, life may seem worthless, devoid of meaning. Romantic love is a central expression of a good, meaningful, and flourishing life. Without love and desire, many people feel that a large part of them is dead. The lover is perceived to be "the sunshine of my life," and for many, without such sunshine, decay and death are all around.

Death is perceived to be associated with love in various ways. Thus, romantic breakups are often described as a kind of death. At one time in my life after Robert’s death…love for me seemed dead and so unreal, all that was left was loneliness, it seemed there was nothing left to feel. It has been my inner spirit that kept me alive and giving of myself by sharing.

The widow's new romantic situation:

The death of my husband placed me in a new situation, which had similarities to other situations in which love ends; nevertheless, I learned widowhood had unique aspects. Although he is physically absent, my love for him remained and even grew. In my case, my love did not die with my husband’s death…am I looking for another Robert in my relationship with another? In my present situation, I find myself listening to my inner voice, that resorts me to tears of emotions. Is he the wrong man doing the right things…am I feeling no regrets…as Anita Baker sings about it…"Wrong Man"

I feel you moving, slipping away. I try to call, but I can't find the words to say;
My lips move but they don't make a sound, I hear your voice but you're nowhere around;
I close my eyes, I can't find my sleep. My wounds will not heal, if you cut me too deep.

My mind is strong but my spirit is weak, I got to get back on my feet.

Well, you can be so cruel… Oh, I just don't understand; Do the tears that I cry, baby Hey, does it make you feel like a man?

And I told you once, boy…Oh, baby let me tell you again You can't do right 'cause...are you the Wrong Man.

I hear you calling, but I ain't no fool, I've got to be stronger, I've got to get over you;
Each time I cry it's a sign of my pain, every tear that falls carries your name;

All I know cannot go on, is everything I do for you wrong;

Ain't nothing I can say or can do, I just got to, I gotta get up child I gotta move.

Hear me baby tell me what you want me to do;
Ain't my, ain't my lovin' good enough for you?...must you resort to others?

I told you once boy, baby let me tell you again you can't do right 'cause...are you the Wrong Man’…

You know I love you sometimes it just ain't enough
And I don't wanna leave you baby but I'm giving you up;

And I told you once boy and I don't wanna tell you again You can't do right 'cause are you the wrong man; you can't do right baby.

I'd rather lose you, child, than lose my mind, yeah, I'd rather lose you then to lose my mind.


Comments for Love After Death: The Widows’ Romantic Predicaments

Average Rating starstarstar

Click here to add your own comments

Mar 21, 2012
Love After Death
by: Renenet

I feel you Margrett. After reading Art’s comment, I’d like you to take a moment to embrace yourself. Remember AA Michael is waiting to embrace you too, whenever you’re ready. Utilize his strength when needed…. Robert has never been far from your side since we are pure energy and there's really no death(I felt him) BUT if you can’t let Michael in or feel him, you won’t be able to feel or know Robert’s energy.

Mar 21, 2012
Love After Death
by: Art

Very good and thought provoking Margrett and thank you for sharing. Here are my comments: I am sure, just like me, many others can identify, but what I say is: If one feels so, then go get in the grave with’em, (((smile)). Now, most people would view that as being very insensitive, but when you actually think about it…

We view death as something other than a form of life and that couldn’t be further from the truth. Why do we setup ourselves for failure, knowing all the time, the ones we love the most has got to go?

Whether it be a parent, child, sibling, spouse, family member or friend the inevitable is just that and no matter what you do, you can never be prepared enough – accept that.

You don’t miss the water until the well runs dry, why don’t we act like that as we live, not just towards to whom we direct our love, but to everyone? Why do we take satisfaction in killing one, but not the other? Do you know how many people die each day, just due to neglect?

Last but not least, if you don’t like the situation you’re in, just hold on because the survivor will soon be joining. So all the anguish… we build up based upon our loss is in vain, no matter how justified we may think.

What our love ones would want us to do is pick-up and carry on. Wouldn’t that be more realistic and romantic?

Relationships: Are just like anything else when you go over the line. We all do and it throws our relationship off balance. Keep it balance – communicate as you go.

Rejection, no matter how, is a bitter pill to swallow, I try to avoid it, but that has taken many years. Most often that leads to me being rejected. It has proven to be that way in every part of my family life, so by now, I am prepared as best as I can be.

Love After Death, All people...

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to (((YIV))) Real Discussion Real People.

YOUR inner voice

Right here, Right now.


What do like minded-people have in common?

More Articles...

bullies deal with them 
Hey was a middle schooler and i get called a white bitch so so if anyone is like me tell someone thats something i never did.!

Being a Prince 
Not sure how your response relates to "why do you continue engaging, knowing all the long term pain and suffering this is causing"? Seems to me, this …

how I got my husband back 
I want to testify of the good work of prophet Bond, who helped me in bringing back my ex,  i never thought i was going to have him again. My name is …

Justified because DOMINATION 
It took an incident like this to push to the forefront the inhumane treatment of black America...demand attention, stop the killing, stop the racism, stop …

Losing a best friend 
Wow! First of all my condolences for your lost! Death is uncontrollable. Some are chosen first and some are chosen at a later or different time! We all …

my testimony on how i got my husband back and kids  
Hello everyone i want to share a live testimony on how Dr Osimen was able to bring my husband back to me, myself and my husband were on a serious breakup, …

White girls ignoring white guys and throwing themselves at Mexican American guys 
I'm a white guy in fresno can and all I see is white girls running to Mexican American guys. They refuse to even consider a date with me a good looking …

White women are destroying white men Not rated yet
Women can make or break a man, for behind every successful man is a strong woman. White women today are weak and out to break the white man in the name …

I am a Channel Not rated yet
Hi, I am a chenneller. I became aware of it in 2011 after a huge loss. I am mixed but spirit sent me a black channel to teach me what I am. She is …

Life Not rated yet
Wat is life if all we do is make money for pointless gain look at us were losing everything but we don't care along as we have more than the person next …

Women's Corner Not rated yet
As we prepare for the Christmas (Holiday) Season.. We are out shopping for gifts and preparing special dinner, cooking those delicious cakes. Let us …

looking for whitewemen that hate whitemen Not rated yet
I love whitewemen that hate their own race I'm a blackman.

Greetings and Welcome to my page. "A MELANIN FREQUENCY-THE MYSTIC CHANNELER SEKHMET" I am blessed with the gift of Clairaudient and Clairvoyance. …

Sometime late last year in 2015, a subject was brought to the attention of the American public, that it had been decided that they were going to try to …

Beautiful tribute  Not rated yet
Dee, you said it so poignantly with such deep feeling. I hope that when my time comes, someone will be so caring of me. May she rest in peace and may …

How prepared are you?re you prepared Not rated yet
The people that are involved in a relationship will some day plan and prepare for their special day with much time,effort, decision making and a whole …

who is making the white women for u Not rated yet
haters here. clearly.

is that a knock-out? Not rated yet
I thought that rose would be dead by now, great job

Thank you for sharing Not rated yet
Our history is so violent and distorted and all we want to know is both sides of the story. Recognize, confess, know...thanks for sharing

you go girl... Not rated yet
beautiful, somebody is expecting a bountiful harvest, like that huge lobster! Enjoy

Love Leggings Not rated yet
People talk about the shit you do ruining their kids, but you never hear about the things they do ruining yours. Who's ruining who? A heart for leggings, …

When you think you escaped Not rated yet
Can't sleep, stress, can't be satisfied and more stress. A chain, lock, wrench, telephone how can they help you? One day you come to realize for …

Cosby's infidelity Not rated yet
Cosby has long been dogged by accusations of infidelity. As Cosby joined the ranks of other famous infidels like Bill Clinton, Jesse Jackson, Willie …

Cosby's response Not rated yet
Bill Cosby will not dignify "decade-old, discredited" claims of sexual abuse with a response, his attorney said Sunday, the first comment from the famed …

Click here to write your own.

Something Better for Something Worse Not rated yet
Is Mr. Cosby a good example of this?

NOTHING like TRN was announced - PURE LIE Not rated yet
It is very strange people spreading BS instead of facts. They were screaming all over the internet that March 17 will be announcement of TRN and prices …

Click here to write your own.

Enjoy this page? Please pay it forward. Here's how...

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.