by Deborah White
(San Francisco, CA)
My journey of self discovery has me laughing not at me with me, you see my mother left me precious gift her "frozen smile" and I set out to find out why she was smiling and what saw, I am 56 year old woman and I like the way I look pretty unique one of my best figures is my eyes, as child I though they were big, some I going make them smaller lol, I have great smile, my journey, my experience lord where start,
Loving me with all my complexities embracing all me I face myself in mirror with one closed eye and know I wanted open my eyes, I am going through process with God, it lot work, yet I stay with flow even I flow path from time to time you know like joker, lol. God bring right back for lessons Oh God lessons, hmmn, I know God love me, yes God and I are friends, my father, my mother, my partner, my lover yes God is all those thing and more, he comes to me in dark, in path, I dangle in darknes of darkness I said God please let me out here, I seen the evil, I don't care what anyone say there is devil, causes he came to me while I sleep seduce me, I still remember as he walk out my bedroom door, I cover my head with disbelieve, caring that image in me in my silence and until now hmm, I had vampires yes sucking me, I remember awaking up with stratches on thigh and arm which weird causes I don't have finger nail, then they like the back of my neck yes nibble on it, I sleep on back most time.
I am Art Director with complicated imagation it comes from above and within, I am passionate that's for sure, and when I wanted something I don't until get it , I funny one I on internet looking love ran to another soul, we exchanges our expression and thoughts, now there were depth, lustful moment, raw to cord and I laughing, like when think it I am laughing cause I wrote some nasty, sensual,sweet and bitter stuff and help to releases expression come in all ways just let it go help heal the wounds of life.
I am mother who is having a challenges with both my sons, yet they are wonderful souls on their path of learning, my Uzo into vampire cult yes he is and I thinking that is lesson there for him. I do love them, I am grandmother with beautiful granddaughter who innocence is being take away at such young age, I try my best abilities to be there for her, we do have strong bond, I believe she old soul, and she love her mother,Now here one for you I know in my family we vampires yes we do, my youngst have strong liking to it.
I enjoy lot things special people they turn me their difference, I love arts, traveling short or long, I always somehow get myself into drama yes all sort of drama, like now with vampires yes vampires, love all of cultures, landscapes, dancing barefoot in water, I can cook not one dish many, love photography, charcoal sketches, seatting high on mountain looking as vast of God gift to us, I love rain, I love ocean listening to it call specially after rain so fresh the smell, chasing sunrise and sunset, forest of trees, roses flowers, scent, books, writing that man I you about taught me metaphors me, I can on and on about me.
I have secrets I release them on man, I know I had shaking or let say unnerve with my words, I love our vibration were strong I found it difficult to let him go, So I went God to help me with the feeling and God to help me love with open heart, I love with depth my soul hopeless romantic and God gave me the courage to love yet it not easy that's for sure, causes I do know how run now lesson to that why I am seating here right now writing you, lol. Lesson has it ups and downs, Oh that I man love he help me find my words when couldn't, he listen to my pain and he knows my secrets not all them, I accepted all complexities light with dark, sweet with bitter yes that me as walk my path of life.