"Just Joking!"

What is the difference between joking and ridicule? How can you tell if it has crossed the line or if you are being too sensitive? Can people be clever in the way they make snide remarks?

Joking is something that does not hurt someone's feelings!
Joking is not aimed at the other person. Ridicule is!

When you discover something your friend is sensitive about, do you then take delight in using it and claiming to be "Just Joking!"?

You need to think about what you're saying before you say it. A friend may find some of your jokes/comments offensive, especially if you make jokes at their expense. Wouldn't it be expected that they get upset? That's only natural. You'd feel mad and hurt if they did that to you. They want to be your friend but doesn't want you to insult, ridicule or patronize personal things about them.

Their feelings may not seem all that important to you so based on that, it's safe to assume you were never their friend to begin with. They don't deserve to be led along and you don't deserve to put up with someone you find annoying.

If you don't want to be friends anymore tell them to their face and why.

Everyone has a different set of values and beliefs (even in an immediate family).

"Just Joking" is never funny. When someone says something mean then follows it with "Just Joking!", what they are really doing is openly insulting you then denying your right to be upset about it. This is a supermanipulation because it allows them to not take responsibility for their actions.

Even more annoying, it allows them to dismiss and ridicule you if you complain! You are accused of being too sensitive and they no longer want to be friends. You're expected to laugh it off and think no more of it. After all, didn't they say "Just Joking!"?

It's bad enough that they are making fun of you and refusing to admit it, but now you are also forced to make a choice......... tolerate the ridicule or lose a friend. You're expected to bury your anger and frustration at having someone close to you be mean and then not admit it.

This is not good because the requirement for being accepted allows the other person to mistreat you. If you do not retaliate in kind, it is usually taken as being weak and easily manipulated. Does your imperfections make it okay to be ridiculed?? Are others so perfect it allows them the right to ridicule?? Maybe your friend did you a favor by no longer wanting to be friends??

All we want is R E S P E C T!!

'Friend' is a place of honour!



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Mar 18, 2011
just joking and for the most part
by: Anonymous

just joking sounds a lot like for the most part

Telling someone how their friendship should go is like telling someone how their marriage should go. Each relationship depends on the people and you never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Even comparing your relationship to the relationship of others could be detrimental to your own.

What if you have a handicap, so what? You know the possibility of being joked about it is greater? So why not make your weakness like water on a ducks back? You must work with what you have, keeping in mind....Rules without relationship are prone to disaster.

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