Letter from my daughter
Live a life you will love.
Re: Hi Jessica
I do not want you to take this the wrong way but if you could take the pictures and information that you have posted about me, without my consent, off of your website.
Sn: If you want a relationship, communication, a picture, or if you just wanted to ask me a simple question. Please come better than that message that you have sent to me. You can start off by telling me your side of the story since you like to write so much and it wouldn't hurt to throw in a few apologies. If this is too much for you to take in right now i am sorry but this is what expect from my father who i have not seen nor spoken to in years.
Now is our time to guard against future regrets!
Hi Jessica and thank you for saying a nice hello. It was so good to hear from you.
I will not take it wrong, it is the least I can expect from my children. I am not sure about which photos you are talking, but if you are speaking of my photos of my children well, just maybe they just look like you.
If you are speaking of the photo you posted on facebook they are just that, public information. My, how you look like your moma!
Wanting something,,,, I do not want anything that does not want me. I thought it to be a good idea, since I am supposed to be your father and you are supposed to be my daughter, to nicely acknowledge I came across your presence on facebook and to speak with you, the same as I would do any other decent human being that I respected and would hope they would do the same for me, nothing more or less. However, now I see you take my kindness for weakness.
Sides of the story? When it comes to you or any other family members, there is only one side to my story and that is family. Any other way, I would be a fool. Heck, I even have a problem when I try to be “civil” with my own children,,,why? Could I expect any more from them? Should I stop speaking to them? Should I turn my head when I see them coming?
It is all up to you who you choose to be in your family. It does not matter what I think, say or do. It never was enough and may never be enough. I love my children and my wife just like any other man, but I cannot make them love me in return. Further, I do not measure my love for you based upon your contributions to me. Well, if I did, how could I love you?
Love has to be something you want for yourself. You are mature adults now, capable of making your own decisions. If you choose to continue feuding and fighting,,,Hatfields and McCoys that is what you will be, but know this: All of that does not change the fact.
If you have no regrets, why should I? I am praying for you. I love you, want the best for you and I give you that freedom.
How is Edward, Aaron and Joycelyn? I sincerely, wish you all well in whatever endeavors you choose. Your dad or is that your baby’s mama! I love you Ms. Jessica.
Re: hi jessica I will not take it wrong, it is the least I can expect from my children. I am not sure about which photos you are talking, but if you are speaking of my photos of my children well, just maybe they just look like you. Maybe they just look like me? what do you have more children? ............................................................................................
And don't say children. I am not speaking for my brothers. I am only speaking for myself and of how i feel.
The pictures on your website page (inner-voice). They are not family pictures because you are not apart of my family. I don't even know how you gained access to those pictures. If i didn't give you information or my consent to post something about me on the internet why do you see fit to exploit me?
Plus i did not say you were weak. Don't put words in my mouth but what i did say is that your approach was weak. You haven't talked to me for years and then you write 1 sentence. You could've kept that.
Actually there are 3 side to a story, your side, my side, and the truth. "Civil"? You don't even talk to me. So if you decide to not talk to me now guess what i dont care because i have no kind of relationship to you anyways. You never did anything for me. I'm not even talking about $ or materials. I could careless about that. A phone call, card on m birthday, or anything like that. That shows love. Because you haven't done any of that you dont love me. The words out of your mouth dont mean shit to me. Its your actions and of now you have none.
I dont really care if you think im being mean or whatever because u deserve it. You left me. You didn't look back. You didn't care. You dont wanna explain yourself thats fine. I just dont have anything else to say to you. I told you i expect an apology, I expect a reason of some sort. If you cant give it to me than this is it. Thats the least you could do.
I have plenty of love so i dont need yours. I dont need your prayers i dont need anything from you. Im making my own decision and these are my words. Now if you want me to have any kind of respect or any kind of communication with u then respect my wishes if u cant then its whatever.
I dont regret anything because i didnt do anything you did. OWN UP TO YOURS.
If you wanna know how everyone else is doing i suggest you get on the phone and gets to dialing and find out for yourself because im not doing it.
and yeah until you act like a dad your just a sperm donor.
hi again jessica
I am so surprised to hear from you twice in one day, the first time in the history of our family that you say I am not apart of.
Jessica, you can choose your friends, but you cannot choose your family members. If you want to have something to do with them then do it, if not, then act accordingly. Don't stoop to their level. Why waste your time? Don't show a side of you that you will later regret. You do not have to answer to me, but you will have to answer for your actions. Why destroy yourself? Respect yourself and others will do the same.
The way you are acting I cannot even speak to you. How can I explain anything when I can't even say hello and get a decent response?
Further, your love ones have already explained to you all "they" want you to know. If you want to get more information from me all you have to do is ask, but if you go demanding; how does that give me room to give? Why are you so emotional when all i did was say hello?
Maybe you feel cursing me, i deserve and makes you the bigger person and if so that is fine by me, but remember I am the one who said hello. Now look!
Let us change the subject for peace sake? How is Derrick?
Whether you do or not, life goes on. You and I are not the only ones who came up in broken homes, but we seem to be the only ones who still have a chance to make a difference but still refuse.
What do we gain by expressing our anger for one another, when we could have just kept going our seperate ways? You all were just a babies when your mom took you away.
I have been down that road and one day you too will have a sperm donor. Everybody has a sperm donor, but do you know who yours is? I love you..your sperm donorer dad.
ARt, 16 Mar 2011
Family sticks together. Through thick and thin no matter what. You did not up hold your end of the deal so to me your not my family. Your not even a friend. Im not trying to hurt your feelings but it is what it is. The truth. It hurts. Deal with it just like i had to. I dont hate you because thats a waste of my time and emotion and it only hurts me in the end.
I didn't demand anything. I asked you to take the pictures off of your website. I asked you to tell your story. I asked for an apology( which i shouldn't have even asked to) If you choose not to do the above then thats your choice but there is nothing more i have to say to you without an explination and for you to admit your wrongs. Thats what i want. Those are my standards.
Its not a fact of who is bigger, better, or whatever. It the fact of admiting when you are wrong, Stop being stubborn, being humble, being real and having a good heart. Stop bs with me. Your not a friend. Play your part and stop acting like everything is good between us. Its not.
I dont consider myself coming up in a broken home. My childhood was perfect. I couldn't ask or want anything more in my life. Im satsified. God has blessed my family. There is no let bygones be bygones. Let me lay something out for you. Admit you made a mistake by leaving your family. Something that is a gift from God. People strive everyday to achieve one and you had one and rejected it. #2 Im allowing you to explain yourself because i am an understanding person. I am however being short with you because you dont deserve my niceness.
If we are expressing our anger atleast its something. The lines of communication are open. You need to hurry up and get it together before i close them.
No i wont have a sperm donor. I will have a husband who will respect and understand his responsibilities as a father. Whether or not we stick together or not. ----------------------------
It's okay to pretend we are not, what we know we are. A pinata is any excuse to whack something, anything with a stick.
Hi again Jessica, I love you just as I do the rest of my children and my family. If you want to say you are the badest, then I will agree. But remember, if you are so all mighty, upright and powerful, why do not you make things right? Why don't you speak nicely to me? Why did not you do all the things you accuse me of not doing? Well, if you are so good? Out of my love and respect, I said hello to you and somehow, you almost make me wish I never did - almost.
I have told you I love you with all my heart and soul; and all you want is an explanation for something I do not even understand myself? Even crazier, you want all that without a relationship? Do you think if I could have made things better, I would not have? I love all my children the same as I love myself, but my problem is, their love for me is based upon what somebody else said. There is a lot of anger and resentment after all these years, but remember, the road goes both ways. I am not the only one responsible for being family.
I am not sure if you even recognize the other half of your family, your other grandmothers, but like I said, you are all grown and that is up to you, while your cards have already been laid out. The heck with me, but I encourage you all to know the rest of your family, whether you like them or not. All this anger and hostilities and thinking you are the only ones, think again. All this will not be corrected in my generation, and it does not seem it will be corrected in yours, but that is all up to you all. I am doing the best I can.
What did your grandmother ever do wrong to you? Why do you not recognize her? Why do not you do all those wonderful things you said I ought to have done for you, for her? Because of which I am not angry, but I do know the real deal. That is how you have been raised. Think for yourself. Use your own head and the answers will be revealed to you, just like they were to me. How did you get from Germany to Florida? Who took you? Why? Why did not you ever call me? Why did not you ever reach out to me? Anger and resentment for what? For the sake of peace, when are you going to let it go and stop asking for these crazy explanations which no one owes you, just like they owe me none?
Like I said, Like passing you in the streets, all I did was say hello to you, now I am dragged into some kind of guilt trip to explain my actions over the past twenty years and nice little pictures on my website. Why not explain yours? Why did not you send me a card? Why do not you call? Even, why are you angry? Why do you not love me?
If you want an explanation, then first explain? Why would I explain anything to someone who said they hate my guts, they do not want me....I am just a sperm donor?
Do you seriously think anyone will give you some information when approached like that? Can you see how that attitude keeps us apart? Does speaking to you mean I want a relationship? However, if you do not desire a relationship with me, I cannot force you and nor will my love for you be dependent upon whether you explain yours or your mother's actions. I love and respect you and that is all that matters and all I am required to do. Who you love and how you show your love is totally on you? It is what it is! Rules without relationship lead to disaster. Sperm donor, dead beat or whatever you want to call me, I am still "Your dad"! You know everything else, but you do not know your dad? If you did you would know I love you no matter what.
You need to think about it, why did not you ask your mother all these questions? Why are not her/their answers satisfactory to you? There is power in agreement, unity and love. Love is the key, faith unlocks the door and works keeps it going.
Re: hi again jessica I was a baby so how was i suposed to call you. Why couldn't you be the adult and call me just like you contacted me now? You sitting here implying something why dont you just tell me what happened? Why are you avoiding it? Wheter or not your past is ugly i deserve to know the truth and i am giving you an oppertunity to tell your side. I never said i hate your guts. I did say you were a sperm donor because thats how you've been acting. You haven't been a father.
I'm not going to change my attitude and do for you when you cant even do for me. You owe me a lot. I've never asked you for anything and when i do you tell me to say please? no im not doing that. either your going to tell me or your not.
I'm trying to get to know you. I'm asking you what happened. Why did you leave me? That mny most imnportant question right now. Even if i did ask my mother all these question they're her answers and i want yours. Why are you beating around the bush. Are you afraid of something? Just tell me the story!
you are looking for me to tell you what you already know!
you are an adult now. If you were investigating a crime, how would you find the answers? I suggest starting with the right people. You are asking the right questions, but you are asking the wrong person.
Think about it Jessica, how can I explain what I do not know? You have got one side of the story, that does not make any sense to you? Well, it does not to me either, but I cannot explain what I do not know.
All I know, is that everything I have tried has been met with anger and resentment. Most have a problem with speaking with their dad. Hell, I trying to talk with mine, but first I must be approved.
You have got me under investigation for a crime, what crime? You are accusing me of being a dead beat dad, but what about a dead beat family? Do you ever ask yourself, Why do you have so much anger and animosity towards me? What have I done to you to warrant such a negative response? What have I done to your mother? I haven't done anything but love you all? You are my child, why would I want to see you or any of my children suffer? What do I have against my children? I have nothing against my children. Use your head.
Because you said, I abandoned you, tells me you are saying what you have been told? Everything you know about me, is what you have been told. I cannot explain all those questions because in my eyes, it was not that way. I have already given you a good question to get all your answers by asking yourself or anyone else, How did you get from germany? Did your dad approve? Think about that? Did I leave you or were you taken from me? Did i abandoned her or did she abandon me?
Why am I the only person being held responsible? I know you are mature enough to know better, so why do you judge your dad, of all people, based solely on what others have said? Why do you demand I explain what they told you? I have been living without you and that was not my choice? Should I have hopped a plane and kidnapped you back? Does your mother's side of the family welcome mine?
Now, based upon all you know, question your own actions? Why are you taking on someone's elses responsibilties? Why not take on your own, whatever they maybe? your dad...
Ok im done. Im not playing games with u. Dont say i didnt try.
I do not know exactly what you mean Jessica. I have tried to get you to answer your own questions, just the same as me. I do not know what happened or why. I have attempted to reason that with you. How can I know. Just why did you mom leave and take you? I do not know? So who would be best to answer that question? Why were you all kept from me? I do not know? who would be better to answer that question? Why were you poisoned against me? I do not know and who would be better to ask? I have told you to think for yourself?
All I can say is, I love you, no matter what? Have a wonderful day and I wish you the best...your dad
Jessica Thomas March 21 at 12:56pm Report keep my grandmothers name out of your mouth. You do not know her nor understand her because you have not been around. You talk like you know me and that you have me figured out. You talking about i dont know the other side of my family no. I dont know you. JUST YOU. .
Art Thomas March 21 at 8:40pm hi jessica, i am disappointed you don't listen. I have nothing to tell you about my side of your mom taking you all. She left germany going on vacation and never returned.
Now, I am getting a little bored with writing the same old thing to someone who doesn't care. I hope you do not think I am really intimidated by some of the crazy things you are saying. Jessica, wakeup. we are going back and forth with nothing and really you are concerned about something your mom and grandparents know all the answers to. Whatever they told you above what I said, it is up to you whether you believe it or not. I have nothing to prove against what they said. You are grown and if you do not know the difference between truth and lie. That's on you. Now, I have other things to do above and beyond your insults and redundant questions. your dad .
Jessica Thomas March 21 at 8:43pm Report Look dont talk about i dont listen.All you said is she went on vacation and didnt come back ok and? What did u do? nothing? Why did she leave? your not using any details or anything. How do you even know that my mom has even told me about the whole situation? .
Art Thomas March 22 at 6:19am i never gave up, hope, faith, love and works. your dad .
Art Thomas March 22 at 6:34am more details: I let go of all that which no longer served me and treasured the blessings filling my life with good.
I embraced supportive people, inspiring places and productive ideas. I let go of thoughts, beliefs and situations that were not in my best interest, that tear down rather than build up. your dad...
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