My life is a wreck

I am such a loving and caring person, a good law abiding citizen, but everything, literally, everything I do turns into catastrophe. It can start out with all my best intentions, but as soon as people discover who I really am, they avoid me. Not so devastating because I can live by myself, I am a big boy. Further, I conduct myself in such a way that I keep myself out of position for people to blame me for our failure. Don’t get too close.

But here is the kicker, I am so talented and put my heart in all that I do, but all I do does not seem to prosper me. I can get it and I do my very best to take care of it, but building upon it is a problem. I move with a sense of urgency because I know, nothing last forever, but what happens when I can no longer afford to maintain?

Relationships, feels like they are a waste of time because it seems that I am not capable of maintaining them. No, I do not think it to be my problem, while I am willing to help, more than the average. If I can not maintain me, how can I help maintain them? Though I have the noblest intentions, even my closest family members are estrange to me. With whom do I talk, socialize, love?

Business, honest and ambitous, it seems what every good company seeks, but what kind of a business person am I when no one wants my business?

Money, that is how it all went away and now I have no money, what do I do? How do I get building repairs? Health care? Food, clothing, shelter, transportation? How do I take care of my family? How do I repay my debts? How do I fulfill my dreams? All those things I have helped to get, just seem to escape me.

So, as I am down to my last, how do I maintain, for I would not like to die this way? No, I am not considering suicide.

Your inner

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