This is the way of life

Loving and full with emotions, so many things happen for me, but none seem to overshadow the bad. It was an ongoing process with multiple personalities. So much so, that I started to think, This is the way life is.

I recognized I was not to blame, but I always blamed myself. You're never responsible for the bad things that happen in your life; however, I still feel responsible, somehow. How do I learn to love and respect myself without so many traumatic experiences, internalizing and abusing myself.

To cover my feelings and do what I thought was good; I tried to please others and started living life that way. I am loving and open emotionally, but, my openness often means I don’t do well with the status quo. Obviously, there is a lot of anger in me, and I do not have a proper place to vent it, so I started to rebel. Hence, I am forever searching for love, affection, attention, and somebody to say, "Yes, you are worthy." Unfortunately, there are people who will take advantage of that and misread your intentions. Is this the way of life?

It happened in the middle of somebody else's experience, I broke down and then, I got myself together; but it was just as traumatic; a lesson often learned too late.

That has been the greatest lesson of my life, to recognize I am responsible, but not solely responsible for it. That in my efforts to love and help others, I must first be taught and learn to love and respect myself. This is the way of life. The sooner the better!


your inner voice

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