Art was compassion personified, and did his best to teach others ... Because being genuinely compassionate means seeing the situation. I could have been a lot of things? The thing is you never know until you ask or do.
This weekend, July 2010, we had one of the most glorious times and experiences of my 53 years of living. Just one incident: One of my classmates hosted an event to bring together again, classmates from 1975 – 1976. The story I want to tell is one that, “got my feelings hurt”. Background: we all attended a private military college, which during those years was not open to women nor blacks, so we were some of the first. Those experiences are what brought us so close together during those times.
Now, to this reunion. We’re are much older, married and single, but remember we were all boys attending school. My first night was spent sleeping on a pallid, on my classmate’s beautiful patio, which was a beautiful experience to me and I was looking forward to the next night. Just like back in our military days, we talked until the wee hours of the morning. “Single”, you know how guys can talk, pushing each other up to doing certain things. Well, this may have been where my problem started. In the past we’ve always encouraged each other to do better and “these boys were on it”. Now adults, my boys were encouraging me/challenging me, “not to sleep on the floor again”. They suggested that one of the very nice single ladies who had visited earlier, had a crush on me. Didn’t you notice when we were all being introduced, she hugged and kissed each one of us, but she kissed you on the lips! Boy, did they get my attention or what? They had my undivided attention by now, because this was a very attractive young lady to me too. Hummm, she did kiss me on the lips, just maybe they are right. It was unexpected and happen so fast. Why should I sleep on the floor again when I can sleep in a nice comfortable bed, “in the home of this very attractive single lady”? She’d probably like my company anyhow.
The next morning, while running some errands with the first lady of the house, we stopped by the home of this attractive lady. Boy, she and her equally attractive sister had a home to match. After reporting back to my boys what I had just experienced, they said, “that’s it, ask her if you can spend the night”. Being shy, yet a forward thinking man, in dream land, I thought, “What an excellent idea, plus that could be my excuse to get closer”. So that night these two sisters visited again and brought with them, “a good ole fashion southern home-made Banana Pudding”. You know the double boiler kind? Well, things were moving fast and I could not wait to ask the one that gave me the innocent little peck on the lips, “if I could spend the night at her house” and it seemed she already liked me. It was like being invited to an event hosted by a very good, long time friend, who had a very close friend named Oprah Winfrey. It was my pleasure to have met such a “single lady” and her sister. It seemed as if they had so much house and food, I thought it would be a great idea to get me off the floor, No harm intended! Just goes to show how your mind and emotions can play tricks, based on “suggestive thinking”.
Invited guests started to arrive for the evening event, which were centered around the lovely swimming pool and beautiful gardens. One after the other, pretty ladies were arriving, all bringing something to the event. Amidst all the hugging and greeting, I saw the lady from the night before. My heart started to pound and I couldn’t wait to pop the question. So in the heat of all my moments, it was now time to greet her. While greeting her, I whispered, “Last night I slept on the floor, can I stay at your house tonight”. As we pulled back from each other, the expression on her face was like, “Why is he telling me this? Is he being too fresh or what”. I couldn’t believe she wasn’t thinking like me? Really, I couldn’t believe she wasn’t as excited as me to take advantage of this opportunity? So failing to heed the warning, I took it a step further by asking, “If I could sleep at her house tonight”? She replied, “It’s good you slept on the floor”. My feelings being a bit hurt, I said, “okay”. Now, my whole night was ruined because of “my feelings of being rejected”. I couldn’t believe this lady with all these luxuries did not care if I slept on the floor or not? Then there were the feelings of being rejected, stepping over my bounds and miscommunicating. So I just slowed my little self down, kept my distance and enjoyed the evening as best as I could.
All my boys and me misjudged the lady and my situation. Emotions were involved and well beyond the intentions of this nice lady, which caused me to miscommunicate. I am reasonably sure had I taken a different approach, things would have worked out differently. Compassion Over Personified!
JOKE: Girl Scouts selling cookies? Your house is on fire! Good luck, because next time, you’ll just buy the damn cookies!
your inner voice.com
I also had a chance to dance to some awesome music and their performance was "OFF-THE-CHAIN"! Check out the Affrimation Band & Show, Columbia, SC
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