Talking In Relationships
Can you keep a secret or do you tell everything?
Stable versus an unstable environment? Healthy and unhealthy?
Do you feel like you can discuss anything? What exactly is your write to privacy? What is freedom of speech, why? Do people really share their dark deep secrets? What would happen if no one shared their dark deep secrets, not just with God, but also with everyone?
I was visiting one of our very well known local liquor houses, I met this lady, who said she wasn't going to tell me anything because I might write it down, tell it or use it against her. I know what you mean, but am I creating an environment for a liar? From whom will the secret or the lie be kept?
Would they be a close friend if you felt like you could not be yourself?
My thoughts were, Who are you, are you a Pilgrim, Why are you telling me that, what is there to hide? Do you want me to adjust myself so I hear what you got to say or are you wasting my time telling me you aint't going to tell me anything else? How is that going to make you look? What kind of impression do you want to make? Are not we both in the same place?
What brought that on? Does your friend constantly ask you that? If you knew what was really going on, would YOU be in the shape you are in?
What is the long story short? If people did not repeat what was shared with them, how would we honestly ever learn anything, real life lessons, in real time?
How long must you wait to apply lessons learned? Is the after action review secret? Who really cares if you are not trying to get answers? Liars cause trouble?
Nobody wants to hear their dark deepest secret repeated, yet they want all the answers? The right hand and the left hand? Where would they start looking for answers, researching?
It takes courage, most do not have, to honestly share what's going on inside of you. That is why we have such a depressed people. People do not know what to and not to share, so they too often end up sharing nothing or information that means absolutely nothing. The flip side is that people take what you said and embellish it. Further, women might be our biggest culprit. So why share?
I used to be phony like that, but became so confused I did not know what to say, consequently I stopped talking. They say it is better to keep your mouth shut and people not know how foolish your really are. The real question is, how foolish are you?
But here is the thing, either way, I am going to be responsible. Some must hide and others are as free as a bird. Should I go around not inquiring if I do not understand what's being said? As you consult, you may learn it wasn't as dark and deep and secret as you may have thought.
No, I am not saying tell all your business, but whatever you tell, make sure you do not mind hearing it again. Like when I write, I share sometimes too much, but I would rather do that than not share enough.
I am not one to kiss and tell, but I am one to get a better understanding of whatever it was I was doing. What if no one told anything? Do you have to "what if" a liar? What if there was no information privy enough to be considered secret? People are going to talk, I do not care what you do and especially if they think it is something you did not want anyone to know.
How would it be if people journaled everything? Well that is what's happening with the advent of the internet and I think it is one of the best things that could have happened to our lying asses.
Do you really care who hears the truth and the truth shall set you free? In all we do, we are learning and teaching. Keep it honest and it will stay honest. What else matters? The older you get, the more talk, but you do not have to reveal your source.
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